... You Know You're having a bad day when... => Your horn sticks on the freeway behind 32 Hell's Angels motorcyclists. => It costs more to fill up your car than it did to buy it. You've been at work 3 hours before you notice that your fly is open or your blouse unbuttoned. => Everyone avoids you the morning after the company office party. => You invite the peeping Tom in... and he says no. => You call your spouse and tell them that you'd like to eat out tonight and when you get home, your find a sandwich on the front porch. => A girl phoned me the other day and said..."Come on over, there's nobody home." I went over. Nobody was home. => When I was born...the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father... "I'm very sorry. We did everything we could...But he still pulled through." => Steak and sex, my favourite pair. I have them the same way, very rare. => I told the bartender to surprise me, so he showed me a naked picture of my wife. I said, "Who said you could fool around with my wife?" He said, "Everyone".
