~ You have ever been fired from a construction job because of your appearance. ~ You need one more hole punched in your card before you get a freebie at the House of Tattoos. Your father encourages you to quit school because Larry has an opening on the lube rack. ~ You get an estimate from the barber before he cuts your hair. ~ You own more cowboy boots than sneakers. ... ~ You've ever worn a cowboy hat to church. ... ~ You still have an 8-track tape player in your car. ... ~ You have sunglasses that are mirrored on the inside. ... ~ You think BMW are the call letters for a radio station. ... ~ They have to notify next of kin by visiting the state pen. ~ The Halloween pumpkin on your front porch has more teeth than your wife. ~ You let your twelve-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids. ~ You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws. ~ You think a woman who is "out of your league" bowls on a different night. ~ You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean. ~ Anyone in your family ever died right after saying,"Hey, y'all watch this" ~ Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan. ~ You go to your family reunion looking for a date.
