The Costumes:
Yes, the genius of my plan was simple: go to the party dressed in an outfit that obviously wasn't related to the letter 'P'. The reason? Simple, everyone was curious as to what exactly I had dressed as, which meant a veritable plethora of beautiful laydeez regularly approached to ask what the hell I was. I'm telling you, it's better than those spray-on pheromones, and trust me, I know!
I wasn't the only smart guy with this agenda, my mate Angell had even implemented an interactive aspect to his outfit. Cunning.. but what exactly was he meant to be? This pre-party picture of Birthday boy Norman (left), home-made costume extraordinaire Angell (center), and my good self (right) shows us shortly after the mindless drinking had begun. Have a shot at guessing our respective costumes, given two are fairly obvious, but anyone even close to figuring out Angell's outfit deserves a hearty slap on the back.
Sure, he's got a cheeky grin on his face, a drink in his hand,
but what the $%^£ is Angell (center) supposed to be?
Yes, what EXACTLY is Angell supposed to be?...
Well, after throwing it out to the Joke Email braintrust, some truly amusing suggestions were put forward. (Consider these are the same people who are advocating what I should have worn to this party..)
Avid Joke Email reader Cindy of NYC ventured this effort:
"Since Angell's writing is so, well, BAD, either he's an "open book" or a "(file) case for insanity"! Ha,ha!"
Well 'Cindy' I don't know what kind of books or files you've been reading lately look like, but I'd seriously advise you to quit drinking the anti-freeze and get into rehab. Cold turkey is hard, but I think it's right..
Sonny was one of the funniest replies I received.
Sonny, what is Angell dressed as?
"Er, A tampon with wings?"
Priceless! This guy needs a cable show of his very own. This kind of comic genius just cannot be bottled!
Closest to the prize was Joke Email devotee Kim who nearly had the right answer:
"Is your friend Angell supposed to be a mug of beer with his head being the head of the beer? Just a thought...lol!"
Close, but no cigar. Had Angell actually given his costume slightly more thought before boarding the 10.15am train to Coventry, using his head as a head of beer would appeal. However, that's not what he did.
He arrived, and immediately pulled several sheets of cardboard out of a plastic shopping bag. Unbelievably, this is to be his costume, and he hasn't even made it yet. An hour later - after plenty of cutting, sticking, and scribbling with felt pens - his creation was unveiled.
For one night only, Angell was to be a "Pitcher of Green Death". I guess I'd better explain: Back in our hometown there is a bar called "Templars" which serves some fairly life-threatening cocktails - including one called the "Green Death". One particularly messy night, Angell and Pete shared a Pitcher of Green Death between them, and the results were very, very messy. Thus, in a celebration of this triumph of alcoholic mixtures, Angell went to the party dressed as a "Pitcher of Green Death"...
... and yes, he did get some VERY funny looks, and spent most of the evening explaining what he was supposed to be, before taking the wise decision and his creation after a few hours.
The Pre-party:
Now, my mate Pete has really landed on his feet. Not only does he know the beauties in this photo, but he actually LIVES with them, AND they cook! Get in line boys...
After serving up a sumptuous Thai green curry with plenty of rice and naan bread to fill our respective tanks for the carnage-filled night which would follow, everyone changed into their costume. Now, I know what you're thinking... Bunnies or Coppers... Bunnies or Coppers...
Yeh, I'd be smiling too if I lived there..
The Carnage Continues >>
