Foreigner Jokes

* Two Scottsmen, Angus and MacDougal, have grown up in the same village together. They were friends all their lives, married a pair of sisters, and lived just down the street from each other. But now, MacDougal has the cancer, and is lying on his deathbed, surrounded by his friends. He calls, "Angus, come 'ere Angus. I 'ave a request for ye." Angus walks to his friends bedside and kneels down. "Angus, we been friends all our lives, and now I'm dying 'ere. I 'ave one last request fir ye to do." Angus bursts into tears, "Anything MacDougal, anything ye wish. I'll do it." "Well, under me bed is a box containing a bottle of the finest whiskey in all of Scotland. Bottled the year I was born, it was. After I die, and they plant me in the ground, I want you to pour that fine whiskey over me grave so it might soak into me bones and I'll be able to enjoy it for all eternity." Angus is overcome by the beauty and true Scottish spirit of his friends request. "Aye, tis a fine thing you ask of me McDougal, and I will pour the whiskey. But, might I strain it through me kidneys first?!" * Two Americans and a Belgium tourist are on a jumbo jet at 10,000 feet. One of the Americans turns to the Belgium tourist, and says to him " Do you think you could jump out of the plane, hit that cloud, and bounce back into the plane?". " No, I don't " said the Belgium " clouds can't be bounced on." "I think you could," replied the American "and to prove it, I'll do it". So he opened the door, jumped out, hit the cloud, and bounced back in. "See," he said "it can be done". "I don't believe it, do it again." said the Belgium. So, the American jumped onto the cloud, and back into the plane. "Wow" exclaimed the Belgium. "Why don't you try it?" asked the American. "OK" said the Belgium. He opened the door, jumped out towards the cloud - and plummeted to his death. The other American who had sat and watched, turned to the first American "Superman, you're such a B**tard.!!!!"

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