Children's Jokes

** What is a pig's favourite karate chop? - A pork chop!! ** How do you stop an elephant from charging? - Take away it's credit cards!! ** Why did the Pensioner put wheels on his rocking chair? - He wanted to rock and roll!! ** Why did the football coach give his team a lighter? - Because they kept losing their matches!! ** What do you give a sick canary? - Tweetment!! ** What happens when two snails have a fight? - They slug it out!!! ** How do you make your coat last? - Make your trousers first!! ** What did the grape say when it got trodden on? - Nothing, it just gave out a little whine!! ** Why do golf players wear two pairs of trousers? - In case they get a hole in one!! ** What did the astronauts say about the eight-legged aliens? - Don't worry, they're armless!! ** How do toads fly? - By hopper-craft!! ** What is soft, white, sweet, and comes from Mars? - Martian-Mallows!! ** How do you phone the Sun? - Use a sun-dial!! ** Why are false teeth like stars? - They both come out at night!!!

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