... ** Pat & Mick landed themselves a job at a sawmill. Just before the morning break, Pat yelled "Mick, I've lost me finger!" "Have you now," said Mick. "And how did you do it?" Pat replied "I just touched this big, shiny spinning thing here like thi...damn! There goes another one!"
** Mahoney said to his friend McMaken, "I haven't been feelin' meself lately!" "'Tis a good thing, too -- that was a nasty habit you had!" responded McMaken.
** Mary Clancy goes up to Father O'Grady after his Sunday morning service, and she's in tears. He says, "So what's bothering you, dear?" She says, "Oh, Father, I've got terrible news. My husband passed away last night." The priest says, "Oh, Mary, that's terrible. Tell me, Mary, did he have any last requests?" She says, "That he did, Father..." The priest says, "What did he ask, Mary?"
She says, "He said, 'Please, Mary, put down that damn gun...'"
