AUDI Accelerates Under Demonic Influence Always Unsafe Designs Implemented All Un-informed Drivers Insulted All Unnecessary Devices Installed
BMW Big Money Works Bought My Wife Brutal Money Waster
BUICK Big Ugly Indestructable Car Killer
CHEVROLET Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
DODGE Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater Drips Oil, Drops Grease Everywhere
FORD Fix Or Repair Daily Found On Road, Dead Fast Only Rolling Downhill
GM General Maintenance
GMC Garage Man's Companion
HONDA Had One Never Did Again Happy Owners Never Drive Anything else.
HYUNDAI Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive?
MAZDA Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
OLDSMOBILE Old Ladies Driving Slowly Make Others Behind Infuriatingly Late Everyday. Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Irregular Leftover Equipment