... ** What do ghosts eat for dinner? - Spook-ghetti!!
** What do eskimos sing at parties? - Freeze a jolly good fellow..!!
** Man: Doctor, Doctor. My wife thinks she's a clock! Doctor: Well stop winding her up then!!
** Why are fruit trees such cry-babies? - People are always picking on them!
** Why is it dangerous to do maths in the jungle? - Because if you add 4 and 4, you get ate!!
** What's purple, rides a motorbike, and jumps over buses? - Evil Plum-evil!!
** Young Boy: Can I buy some bird seed, please? Pet Shop Owner: How many birds have you got? Young Boy: None, I want to grow some!!
** Teacher: The bell's gone Gary. Gary: I didn't take it!!
** What do you call a cow that's had a calf? - DeCALFinated!!
** Why did Cinderella get thrown out of the football team? - Because she kept running away from the ball!!
** Toddler Property Laws:
1. If I like it, it's mine. 2. If it's in my hand, it's mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it's mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine. 5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way. 6. If I'm doing or building something, all the pieces are mine. 7. If it looks just like mine, it's mine. 8. If I think it's mine, it's mine. 9. If it's yours and I steal it, it's mine. 10. If I ... Whoops! Sorry! I goofed! Instead of reading the Toddler Property Laws, I've been reading Bill Gates' Business Plans.
** What do you get if you cross a bell with King Kong? - a ding dong Kink Kong!
** Q: Why do chicken coops have two doors? A: Because if it had four doors it's be a chicken sedan. ** Why are clocks dirty? - Because they work 24 hours a day, and never wash their hands or face!!
Q: What would happen if everyone in the country bought a pink car ? A: We would have a pink carnation (car nation)
Q: When is the vet busiest ? A: When it rains cats and dogs
Q: Why should you never tell secrets in a garden ? A: Because the corn has ears, the potatoes have eyes, and the beans talk (beanstalk)
Q: Which is more important, the sun or the moon ? A: The moon. It shines when it is dark, but the sun shines when it is light anyway
Q: A man who worked in the butcher shop was 6 feet tall, has red hair and wore size 11 shoes. What did he weigh ? A: Meat
