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| Welcome to the world-renowned JOKE EMAIL! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Friday 16th April, 2004 105,000 subscribers __________________________________________________________ Joke Email is distributed by subscription only. You are receiving Joke Email because you subscribed at the JokeEmail.com site. + The Starter ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Hey guys... The most astute among you will have noticed the lack of jokes/humor/banter this week, but - as ever - I have a rock-solid alibi and excuse for my tardiness. Basically, my pursuit of a career took me to mighty London town yesterday for yet another 'assessment centre' experience with a fairly hefty banking group. Suffice to say, I don't imagine it went too swimmingly.. doubt I'll get 'that' phonecall anytime soon. More likely to be 'that' email in about two weeks thanking me for my interest and how superb I did to the final stage, but sadly.. due to me being finally uncovered as a VERY bad candidate for the job.. they won't be taking my application any further. Shame. So, now we wait. Incidentally, just so you realise I'm attempting to shed the Partyboy image in favour of a more respectable, cultured, thesbian outlook; I spent this morning in a second-hand bookshop crammed full of Reaper-dodging pensioners, buying a few literary gems to while away a few days. Sweet. There's nothing better than reading a good book in some great sunshine. Tom Evans Editor - Joke Email webmaster@jokeemail.com + Totally New Funny Pic: CLEAN: How 'Puma' got its Logo.. http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/puma AOL + General Joke The tribal wisdom of the Dakota Indians, passed on from generation to generation, says that when you discover that you are riding a dead horse, the best strategy is to dismount. In modern education and expanded government, however, a whole range of far more advanced strategies are often employed, such as: 1. Buying a stronger whip. 2. Changing riders. 3. Threatening the horse with termination. 4. Appointing a committee to study the horse. 5. Arranging to visit other countries to see how others ride dead horses. 6. Lowering the standards so that dead horses can be included. 7. Re-classifying the dead horse as "living-impaired." 8. Hiring outside contractors to ride the dead horse. 9. Harnessing several dead horses together to increase the speed. 10. Providing additional funding and/or training to increase the dead horse's performance. 11. Doing a productivity study to see if lighter riders would improve the dead horse's performance. 12. Declaring that as the dead horse does not have to be fed, it is less costly, carries lower overhead, and therefore contributes substantially more to the bottom line of the economy than do some other horses. 13. Rewriting the expected performance requirements for all horses. 14. Promoting the dead horse to a supervisory position. 15. As a last resort, sell it on Ebay. + Topical Joke About Gay Marriages. . . In light of the Administration's position on gay marriage, shouldn't the President's re-election slogan be: "Bush and Dick: The Way God Wants It?" For more jokes, stroll on over to: http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm + Contact Information ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Wanna leave? See the base of this email for info. Advertising info:http://www.jokeemail.com/advertinfo.htm Everything else:http://www.jokeemail.com/contactus.htm This ezine is registered with the British Library as: ISSN 1471-020X © Copyright 1998-2004 Thomas Evans. All Rights Reserved. |
