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| Welcome to the world-renowned JOKE EMAIL! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Monday 29th March, 2004 105,000 subscribers __________________________________________________________ Joke Email is distributed by subscription only. You are receiving Joke Email because you subscribed at the JokeEmail.com site. + The Starter ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Hey guys... Ever get the impression that EVERYTHING is going against you? I do. I'll explain. After an horrendous few days last week beign interviewed, tested, discussed at various assessment centres at major British companies, with a view to possibly enrolling me on their gravy-train Graduate scheme; I returned home in good spirits. In particular, I felt I had done extremely well with one company, at which I knew there were just 10 jobs and 30 people still vying for them. I was quietly confident.. let's just say that. So, I wake up this morning and I see it lying there on the doormat.. the obligatory thin, limp, "Dear John" letter from the company I had so set my sights on joining. But they don't just tell me I'm not being selected (or 'recommended' as they put it) but they rub salt into my now gaping wound by informing me I'm 'second reserve'. This essentially means I came 12th out of the 570+ applicants, but quite frankly it doesn't make me feel any better. Heck, being second is still first last as my papa used to tell me. And this is worse.. because it means I'm clinging forlornly to the hope that some random people, somewhere across the country, have mulled over the job offer, then tossed it back in the company's face.. OR.. been run over by a bus. Either way, I'm hoping other people will drop out, which just isn't going to happen, but until I know one way or the other I'm back in this hellish unemployment limbo. Crap. Then, to cheer myself up I started to snack on comfort food whilst watching The Godfather on dodgy Thai DVD (which I purchased whilst travelling for about 20c). Unsurprisingly, just as the film begins to get good, the DVD broke. Awesome. Welcome to my world ;-) Tom Evans Editor - Joke Email webmaster@jokeemail.com + Totally New Funny Pic: CLEAN: Cloning Taken to the EXTREME! http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/cloning.htm AOL + Topical Joke In light of the Madrid bombing, France has raised their terror alert level from "run" to "hide". The only two higher levels in France are "surrender" and "collaborate" + Animal Joke In a Brooklyn upscale pet shop Sarah Goldman, an elderly woman burst into the store. "I want to buy a canary, but it's got to be a real good singer. I've got good, hard U.S. cash, but I'm only paying only for a good singer." The shop owner began moving a ladder towards a small cage on a shelf about fifteen feet up, near the ceiling of the store. "Ma'am, I'm forty years in this business. In that cage is the best singer I've ever had." "Don't think I'm gonna feel obligated to pay for something I don't want just because you're climbing up a ladder like a monkey. I want a canary but it's got to be the best singer." By this point the shop keeper was coming down from the ladder. "Ma'am, this bird is a veritable feathered Caruso!" Placing the cage on the counter, the bird burst into melody after melody. Awed Mrs. Goldman murmured, "This bird is really a good singer." Suddenly in a shrill scream, "Hey, what's with you ? This bird's only got one leg." The pet store owner was unperturbed, "Lady what do you want a singer ? ... or a dancer?" For more jokes, stroll on over to: http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm + Contact Information ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Wanna leave? See the base of this email for info. Advertising info:http://www.jokeemail.com/advertinfo.htm Everything else:http://www.jokeemail.com/contactus.htm This ezine is registered with the British Library as: ISSN 1471-020X © Copyright 1998-2004 Thomas Evans. All Rights Reserved. |
