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| Welcome to the world-renowned JOKE EMAIL! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Friday 5th March, 2004 105,000 subscribers Get the official Passion of the Christ Nail Pendant http://dhyoxcxwksk.cd5481.directresponse.com/c/ __________________________________________________________ Joke Email is distributed by subscription only. You are receiving Joke Email because you subscribed at the JokeEmail.com site. + The Starter ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Things continue to improve! Yesterday I enjoyed a leisurely rush-hour jaunt into London in order to take some 'psychometric' tests for another potential employer. Now, you need to understand that these tests are tests you cannot reasonably revise for... basically, either your brain can do them, or it can't. Simple as. .. Or so I thought. As I sat down to complete over 115 (yes, one hundred and fifteen) questions in just 30 minutes, it finally dawned on me that perhaps my medulla oblongata and various other parts of my brain couldn't process much of the question, let alone the potential answers. But not to worry, apparently everyone found it tough, and fingers crossed I'll be invited back in an 'American Idol' type stylie to compete with 50 others for just 10 jobs. And you thought 'Idol' was tough ;-) Tom Evans Editor - Joke Email webmaster@jokeemail.com + Totally New Funny Pic: ADULT: IF your BOSS makes a Mistake...! http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/if.htm AOL + Official Passion of the Christ Nail Pendant Large or small pendants starting at $12.99 http://bqgkvfvdelk.cd5481.directresponse.com/c/ + General Joke At one time in my life, I thought I had a handle on the meaning of the word "service": 'the act of doing things for other people'. Then I heard the terms: Internal Revenue Service Postal Service Civil Service Service Stations Customer Service City/County Public Service And I became confused about the word "service." This is not what I thought "service" meant. Then one day, I overheard two farmers talking, and one of them mentioned that he was having a bull service a few of his cows. SHAZAM!! It all came into perspective. Now I understand what all those "service" agencies are doing to us. + Medical Joke Nick the Dragon Slayer was an official in King Arthur's court. He had a long-standing obsession with nuzzling the beautiful Queen's voluptuous breasts, but he knew the penalty for this would be death. One day he revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor. Horatio the Physician exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1,000 gold coins to arrange it. Without hesitation, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme. The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense. Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that tests had shown that only the saliva of Nick the Dragon Slayer would work as the antidote to cure the itch. The King quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer. Horatio the Physician then slipped Nick the Dragon Slayer the antidote for the itching powder, which he quickly put into his mouth, and for the next four hours, Nick worked passionately on the Queen's voluptuous and magnificent breasts. The Queen's itching was eventually relieved, and Nick the Dragon Slayer left satisfied and touted as a hero. Upon returning to his chamber, Nick the Dragon Slayer found Horatio the Physician demanding his payment of 1,000 gold coins. With his obsession now satisfied, Nick the Dragon Slayer could have cared less, and knowing that Horatio the Physician could never report this matter to the King, shooed him away with no payment made. The next day, Horatio the Physician slipped a massive dose of the same itching powder into the King's loincloth. The King quickly summoned Nick the Dragon Slayer... MORAL OF THE STORY: Pay your bills. For more jokes, stroll on over to: http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm + Contact Information ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Wanna leave? See the base of this email for info. Advertising info:http://www.jokeemail.com/advertinfo.htm Everything else:http://www.jokeemail.com/contactus.htm This ezine is registered with the British Library as: ISSN 1471-020X © Copyright 1998-2004 Thomas Evans. All Rights Reserved. |
