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| Welcome to the world-renowned JOKE EMAIL! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Monday 9th February, 2004 105,000 subscribers ___________________________________________________________ Joke Email is distributed by subscription only. You are receiving Joke Email because you subscribed at the JokeEmail.com site. + The Starter ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Right. First lesson learnt from taking huge 12-hour road trip north into the wilds of Scotland is probably to not to tempt fate by imagining that your car will break down somewhere en route. Because that's exactly what happened.. kind of. It's a deeply complex, and embarassing story which I'm sure you'll relish. I set off in good time, visiting a friend from my world trip in Lancaster before journeying on to Scotland where I stopped for drink and meal with an ex-girlfriend. Now, our break-up wasn't exactly harmonious, but we still get on well. We eat, chat, and drive back to my car which we've left in a Motorway service station. She leaves... and I discover.. that my car key has sheared off in the lock of my door. Thus, I'm stuck miles from my destination with little more than the clothes on my back. I ring my ex, who kindly comes back to help out with the situation, only it can't be resolved, so she offers to put me up for the night. I can't adequately explain just how awkwardly complex this situation became, but I think you can imagine. Anyway, got a locksmith to sort me out a new key in the morning, so I could continue my journey up to Aviemore - perhaps the only ski resort in the world without snow for about 364 days of the year. Not that it mattered, since it had a bar and nightclub, so what else did we need? Thus followed five days of hedonistic drinking, gambling, and clubbing.. with the occasional excursion to the rural delights of Loch Ness and Inverness. Sweet as! More stories on Wednesday as I relate the tale of how we managed to have the local Inverness police force hunting us for an entire afternoon... Tom Evans Editor - Joke Email webmaster@jokeemail.com + Totally NEW Funny Pic: CLEAN: Polish Paramedics in Training.. http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/polish_medics.htm AOL + Re-Defeat Bush Bumper Stickers Show your support of America this election year, and claim a free gift! http://www.gagsplus.com/a.php?i=1521&p=bumper-stickers/defeat-bush.shtml + Animal Joke Little Tim was in the garden filling a hole when his neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "What are you up to there, Tim?" "My goldfish died," replied Tim tearfully, without looking up, "and I've just buried him." The neighbour said, "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it, Tim?" Tim patted down the last heap of earth and replied, "That's because I couldn't get him out of your cat." + Dirty Joke A baby was born so advanced in development he could talk. He looked around the delivery room and saw the doctor. "Are you my doctor?" he asked. "Why, yes, I am," said the doctor. The baby said, "Thank you for taking such good care of me during the birth." He looked at his mother and asked, "Are you my mother?" "Yes, dear, I am," said the mother, beaming. "Thank you for taking such good care of me before I was born," he said. He then looked at his father and asked, "Are you my father?" "Yes, I am," his father proudly answered. The baby motioned him closer, then poked him repeatedly on the forehead with his index finger. "Hurts,doesn't it!?" For more jokes, stroll on over to: http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm + Contact Information ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Wanna leave? See the base of this email for info. Advertising info:http://www.jokeemail.com/advertinfo.htm Everything else:http://www.jokeemail.com/contactus.htm This ezine is registered with the British Library as: ISSN 1471-020X © Copyright 1998-2004 Thomas Evans. All Rights Reserved. |
