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| Welcome to the world-renowned JOKE EMAIL! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Wednesday 31st December, 2003 105,000 subscribers Congratulations! You have been chosen to receive a chance to win a Playstation 2! Please click here to complete the entry form. You are also eligible to win a laptop computer, a flat screen monitor, an IPOD player, $250 Cash and a Flatscreen TV. http://mocda2.com/1/c/58526/145941/327104/327104 AOL users go here ___________________________________________________________ Joke Email is distributed by subscription only. You are receiving Joke Email because you subscribed at the JokeEmail.com site. + The Starter ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Cheers for the "get well" messages - much appreciated, though next time cold, hard, cash will do nicely. Finally decided upon my nighttime manourves this very evening.. lacking any ideas that I'm actually keen upon, I'm being dragged to the seediest, dirtiest, little hovel of a nightclub this world has ever seen, though it does have one redeeeming feature - its proximity to my countryside residence. Yes, this particular club has the advantage of being just 30 minutes drive away, as opposed to the 40 minutes of any other establishment worthy of my patronage. So that's me - I may return to the JokeEmail fold on Friday after nursing my near-impossible-to-avoid bottling injuries which are certain to befall me. Nice one. Hope you enjoyed 2003, see you on the other side. Tom Evans Editor - Joke Email webmaster@jokeemail.com + TOTALLY new FunPages... CLEAN: A Dying Man's Snapshot http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/lastphoto.htm AOL + Are you a smoker 21 or older? Click here to enter to win a Flat Screen TV and 2 Massage Chairs! http://mocda3.com/1/c/58526/110731/327104/327104 AOL users go here + Computer Joke There's a new potentially harful virus doing the rounds.. Even the most advanced programs from Norton or McAfee cannot take care of this one. It appears to affect those who were born prior to 1950. Symptoms: 1. Causes you to send the same e-mail twice. 2. Causes you to send a blank e-mail. 3. Causes you to send e-mail to the wrong person. 4. Causes you to send it back to the person who sent it to you. 5. Causes you to forget to attach the attachment. 6. Causes you to hit "SEND" before you've finished. 7. Causes you to hit "DELETE" instead of "SEND." 8. Causes you to hit "SEND" when you should "DELETE." It's called the "C-NILE VIRUS." + How bad is your heartburn? Click for free info and samples! http://mocda1.com/1/c/58526/144620/327104/327104 AOL users go here + Foreign Joke On a chain of beautiful deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following people are stranded: * Two Italian Men and one Italian woman * Two French men and one French woman * Two German men and one German woman * Two Greek men and one Greek woman * Two English men and one English woman * Two Bulgarian men and one Bulgarian woman * Two Japanese men and one Japanese woman * Two Chinese men and one Chinese woman * Two Irish men and one Irish woman * Two American men and one American woman One month later, on these absolutely stunning deserted islands in the middle of nowhere, the following things have occurred: * One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman. * The two French men and the French woman are living happily together in a menage a trois. * The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of alternating visits with the German woman. * The two Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them. * The two English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman. * The two Bulgarian men took one look at the Bulgarian woman and started swimming to another island. * The two Japanese have faxed Tokyo and are awaiting instructions. * The two Chinese men have set up a pharmacy/store/ restaurant/laundry, and have got the woman pregnant in order to supply employees and customers for their store. * The two Irish men divided the island into North and South and set up a distillery. They do not remember if sex is in the picture because it gets somewhat foggy after a few liters of coconut whiskey. However, they're satisfied because the English aren't having any fun. * The two American men are contemplating suicide, because the American woman will not shut up and complains relentlessly about her body, the true nature of feminism, what the sun is doing to her skin, how she can do anything they can do, the necessity of fulfillment, the equal division of household chores, how sand and palm trees make her look fat, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her nicer than they do, and how her relationship with her mother is the root cause of all her problems, and why didn't they bring a darn cell phone so they could call 911 and get them all rescued off this heaven-forsaken deserted island in the middle of nowhere so she can get her nails done and go shopping. For more jokes, stroll on over to: http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm + Contact Information ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Wanna leave? See the base of this email for info. Advertising info:http://www.jokeemail.com/advertinfo.htm Everything else:http://www.jokeemail.com/contactus.htm This ezine is registered with the British Library as: ISSN 1471-020X © Copyright 1998-2004 Thomas Evans. All Rights Reserved. |
