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Wednesday 2nd April, 2003100,000 subscribers

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+ The Starter
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Yes, yes, I know you are all clammering for my fabled Grand National tip, but it's still a work in progress. First things first, I have to try and rustle up the funds necessary for the wager itself... which starts tonight with a small bet on Turkey to beat England in the soccer. Sure, I'm English and an Englishman should NEVER bet against his own team, but ... well ... cold hard cash trumps red-blooded patriotism everytime - well it does in my world anyway.

So, here's to my kebab-eating friends who are going to win tonight and ensure I possess significant capital for the big race Saturday!

Tom Evans
Editor - Joke Email
webmaster@jokeemail.com


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+ Medical Joke
A woman was having a medical problem - her husband snoring. So she called the doctor one morning, and asked him if there was anything he could do to relieve her "suffering."

"Well, there is one operation I can perform that will cure your husband, but it is really rather expensive. It will cost $1000 down, and payments of $650 for 24 months, plus payments for extras."

"My goodness!" the woman exclaimed, "sounds like leasing a new sports car!"

"Humm," the doctor murmured, "too obvious, huh?"


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+ Bar Joke
Bartender: "What'll you have?"

Consumer: "A scotch, please."

The bartender hands him the drink, and says, "That'll be five dollars.

The imbiber says, "What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this."

A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then offers, "You know, he's got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration.

The bartender was not impressed, but says to the smiling drinker, "Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don't ever let me catch you in here again.

The next day, the winner walks into the bar.

The bartender says, "What the heck are you doing in here? I can't believe you've got the nerve to come back!"

"What are you talking about? I've never been in this place in my life!"

"I bet," says the bartender. "You must have a double then."

"Thank you! Make it a scotch."



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