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| Welcome to the world-renowned JOKE EMAIL! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Friday 14th March, 2003100,000 subscribers Don’t miss the return of the award winning series Six Feet Under. But you can only watch it on HBO! Don’t have HBO, then ORDER NOW! Best of all, if you order right now, HBO will give you $20 Cash Back! The process is quick, easy and convenient. Just Click Here! http://mocda2.com/1/c/58526/94574/251429/251429 AOL users click here ___________________________________________________________ Joke Email is distributed by subscription only. You are receiving Joke Email because you subscribed at the JokeEmail.com site. + The Starter ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Have a great weekend. I think I'm going to take it easy (for once). Tom Evans Editor - Joke Email webmaster@jokeemail.com + PLANNING A VISIT TO CENTRAL FLORIDA? Kissimmee-St. Cloud offers a friendly neighborhood setting, drenched in sunshine and right next door to the Walt Disney World(R) Resort. To order your free VACATION PLANNING KIT ... Click here http://mocda1.com/1/c/58526/80347/251429/251429 AOL users click here + TOTALLY new FunPages... ADULT: Soldier of MIS-fortune: Iraq Edition! http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/soldier.htm AOL + Topical Joke The UN finally settled on a peace plan acceptable to the French, Germans, and Russians. They sat down and decided to settle the whole dispute with one dog fight! They had each side breed the best fighting dog in the world and whichever side's dog won would be the security council certified victor. Saddam found the biggest, meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and bred them with the meanest Siberian wolves. They selected only the biggest and genetically altered strongest puppy from the litter, and removed his siblings, which gave him all the milk, and mustard gas, they came up with the biggest, meanest dog the world had ever seen. Its cage needed steel bars that were 5" thick and nobody could get near it. When the day came for the dog fight, Bush showed up with a strange looking animal. It was a 9-foot-long Dachshund with a fat tail. Everyone but the French felt sorry for Bush because there was no way that this dog could possibly last 10 seconds with the Saddam's dog. When the cages were opened, the Dachshund came out of it's cage and slowly waddled over towards Saddam's dog. Saddam's dog snarled and leaped out of it's cage and charged the infidel American wiener --but when it got close enough to bite, the Dachshund opened its mouth and consumed Saddam's dog in one bite. There was nothing left of his dog at all! The French were apoplectic! Saddam came up to Bush, shaking his head in disbelief. "We don't understand how this could have happened. We had our best people working with the meanest Doberman and Rottweiler female dogs in the world and the biggest, meanest Siberian wolves." That's nothing," said Bush. "We had all of Michael Jackson's plastic surgeons working overtime to make that ol'alligator look like a weenie dog." + VIG-RX PENIS ENLARGEMENT PILLS 100% GUARANTEED, Doctor approved Full Money Back Guarantee - Overnight Delivery! Give her something to SMILE about! Click here for details: http://mocda.com/1/c/58526/71839/251429/251429 AOL users click here + Religious Joke A priest, a rabbi and a Pentecostal preacher all served as chaplains to the students of Northern Mich U in Marquette. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk "shop". One day someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. Well, one thing led to another and before it was over they decided to do a 7 day experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear and preach to it. It's now 7 days later and they're all together to discuss the experience. Father O'Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, is on crutches, and has various bandages goes first. "Wellll," he says in a fine Irish brouge, "Ey wint oot into th' wooods to fynd me a bearr. Oond when Ey fund him Ey began to read to him from the Baltimorre Chatecism. Welll, thet bearr wanted naught to do wi' me und begun to slap me aboot. So I quick grrabbed me holy water and, THE SAINTS BE PRAISED, he becam as gintle as a lamb. The bishop is cooming oot next wik to give him fierst communion und confierrmation. Reverend Billy Bob speaks next. He's in a wheel chair, with an arm and both legs in casts and an I.V. drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he proclaims, "WELL brothers....you KNOW that we don't sprinkle........WE DUNK! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to him from God's HOOOOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. I SAY NO! He wanted NOTHING to do with me. So I took HOOOLD of him and we began to rassle. We rassled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another untill we come to a crick. So'se I quick DUNK him and BAPTIZE his hairy soul. An' jus like you you sez, he wuz gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the week in fellowship, feasting on God's HOOOOLY word." They both look down at the rabbi who's laying in a hospital bed. He's in a body cast traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. The rabbi looks up and says "Oy! You don't know what tough is until you try to circumcise one of those creatures." For more jokes, stroll on over to: http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm + Contact Information ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ U wanna leave?See the base of this email for info. Advertising info:http://www.jokeemail.com/advertinfo.htm Everything else:http://www.jokeemail.com/contactus.htm This ezine is registered with the British Library as: ISSN 1471-020X © Copyright 1998-2004 Thomas Evans. All Rights Reserved. |
