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| Welcome to the world-renowned JOKE EMAIL! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Friday 21st February, 2003100,000 subscribers Wine Lovers Dream - Get a FREE Bottle of Wine, plus get FREE Wine Glasses, Wine Opener, Wine Stopper, and MORE!! Click here to learn more! http://mocda4.com/1/c/58526/87278/245986/245986 AOL users click here ___________________________________________________________ Joke Email is distributed by subscription only. You are receiving Joke Email because you subscribed at the JokeEmail.com site. + The Starter ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Well, after freezing half way to hypothermia trying to weld my rust-bucket car into some semblance of a road-going vehicle, it appears my efforts have been in vain. I've been "advised" that even with my shoddy repair work, the 'Machine' is still a death-trap and requires further welding. Fantastic news; made my day. The upshot of repairing my car last night was that I missed the BRIT music awards on TV. Thus, I missed Mr Justin Timberlake getting to grips with the phenomenal ass of Kylie Minogue whilst on stage. Luckily, I was brought up to speed by my colleagues in the supermarket staff canteen as to what had happened. With no watercooler in sight, it would be a lie to say this was THE watercooler topic of the day - a more accurate description would be that the Timberlake-Kylie discussion was THE 'coffee-machine-which-also-happens-to-dispense-water' topic of the day. I'm rambling again.. possibly due to the wonderful combination of Lemsip, cough medicine, (to cure my cold) plus Dr Pepper and coffee (to keep me awake). Probably not the wisest concoction of liquids in the world, but who knew? Have a good weekend, sink a few brewskies for me ;-) Tom Evans Editor - Joke Email webmaster@jokeemail.com + GET 250 FULL-COLOR BUSINESS CARDS FREE! Easily design and order your cards online in five quick and simple steps from VistaPrint.com! * Exceptional print and paper quality * 30 professionally designed styles * Brilliant Colors! * Enter your personalized text * Great for BUSINESS or PERSONAL use * An $85 value, Free - pay only for shipping CLICK BELOW to take advantage of this great offer! http://mocda3.com/1/c/58526/92397/245986/245986 AOL users click here + TOTALLY new FunPages... CLEAN: What Will Jacko Have Altered Next? http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/jacko_surgery.htm AOL + Groaner Joke A man was having trouble sleeping because of a weird dream he kept having. Finally he followed his wife's advice and went to a psychiatrist. "Doc, I just have to get some sleep," he said, "but I can't because I keep waking up from this bizarre dream I keep having. Can you please help me?" "Ok, let's start by having you describe the dream," replies the shrink. "Well, first I dream that I am a teepee, then I dream I am a wigwam," the man says. "Can you help me figure out my problem?" The doctor smiles reassuringly and responds, "I know what your problem is." "You're two tense." -From Toddski + VIG-RX PENIS ENLARGEMENT PILLS 100% GUARANTEED, Doctor approved Full Money Back Guarantee - Overnight Delivery! Give her something to SMILE about! Click here for details: http://mocda.com/1/c/58526/71839/245986/245986 AOL users click here + War Joke The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it. The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories. "Johnny, do you have a story to share?" "Yes, ma'am, my daddy told a story about my Aunt Karen. Aunt Karen was a pilot in Desert Storm and her plane was hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was a small flask of whiskey, a pistol and a survival knife. She drank the whiskey on the way down so it would not break and then her parachute landed right in the middle of twenty enemy troops. She shot fifteen of them with the gun until she ran out of bullets, killed four more with the knife, 'till the blade broke and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands." "Good heavens," said the horrified teacher, "What kind of moral did your daddy tell you from that horrible story? "Stay the f--k away from Aunt Karen when she's been drinking." -From Joe Pillett For more jokes, stroll on over to: http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm + Contact Information ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ U wanna leave?See the base of this email for info. Advertising info:http://www.jokeemail.com/advertinfo.htm Everything else:http://www.jokeemail.com/contactus.htm This ezine is registered with the British Library as: ISSN 1471-020X © Copyright 1998-2004 Thomas Evans. All Rights Reserved. |
