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| Welcome to the world-renowned JOKE EMAIL! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Wednesday 19th February, 2003100,000 subscribers You're not going to earn $5,000 for telling your best friend which company makes the best spaghetti sauce or which new television show is the most entertaining. But if you tell us, you certainly could! Join the Lightspeed Consumer Panel and take an online survey today for a chance to win $5,000! http://mocda2.com/1/c/58526/91105/245458/245458 AOL users click here ___________________________________________________________ Joke Email is distributed by subscription only. You are receiving Joke Email because you subscribed at the JokeEmail.com site. + The Starter ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Black Wednesday is what I shall call today. Not only is it still bitterly cold outside, and not only do I have to start work at 6am each and every day this week, but the infamous "Tangerine Machine" (aka, my crappy 1983 orange Ford Fiesta) failed it's MOT today (basically, it's unsafe to drive and if I don't get it fixed pronto, I'd better buy myself a stout pair of walking boots). Still, tomorrow's another day.. ;-) Tom Evans Editor - Joke Email webmaster@jokeemail.com + Want to help your child become a better reader? Save $30 on Hooked on Phonics today! Results are guaranteed! If you don't see improvement in your child's reading ability, just return your program within 60 days and we'll refund the purchase price (less S&H). Complete this short, free form today to learn more and be eligible for $30 off. Plus, for a limited time, receive the complete World Book Encyclopedia on CD-ROM FREE with your paid order! Click here to learn more: http://mocda1.com/1/c/58526/89850/245458/245458 AOL users click here + TOTALLY new FunPages... CLEAN: You got a complaint? Take a number! http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/complaint.htm AOL + Animal Joke It's a fine sunny day in the forest, and a rabbit is sitting outside his burrow, tippy-tapping on his typewriter. Along comes a fox, out for a walk. Fox : "What are you working on?" Rabbit : "My thesis." Fox : "Hmm. What is it about?" Rabbit : "Oh, I'm writing about how rabbits eat foxes." Fox : "That's ridiculous! Any fool knows that rabbits don't eat foxes!" Rabbit : "Come with me and I'll show you!" They both disappear into the rabbit's burrow. After a few minutes, gnawing on a fox bone, the rabbit returns to hit his typewriter and resumes typing. Soon a wolf comes along and stops to watch the hardworking rabbit. Wolf : " What's that you are writing?" Rabbit : " I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat wolves." Wolf : " You don't expect to get such rubbish published, do you?" Rabbit : " No problem. Do you want to see why?" The rabbit and the wolf go into the burrow, and again the rabbit returns by himself, after a few minutes, and goes back to typing. Finally a bear comes along and asks, "What are you doing? Rabbit : " I'm doing a thesis on how rabbits eat bears." Bear : "Well that's absurd! Rabbit : "Come into my home and I'll show you" As they enter the burrow, the rabbit introduces the bear to the lion. Moral: IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW SILLY YOUR THESIS TOPIC IS. WHAT MATTERS IS WHO YOU HAVE FOR A SUPERVISOR. In the context of the working world:- IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW BAD YOUR PERFORMANCE IS; WHAT MATTERS IS WHETHER YOUR BOSS LIKES YOU. -From nagen + You're not going to earn $5,000 for telling your best friend which company makes the best spaghetti sauce or which new television show is the most entertaining. But if you tell us, you certainly could! Join the Lightspeed Consumer Panel and take an online survey today for a chance to win $5,000! http://mocda2.com/1/c/58526/91105/245458/245458 AOL users click here + Medical Joke A Jewish man is lying in bed in a Catholic hospital with an oxygen mask over his mouth. A young auxiliary nurse appears to sponge his face and hands. "Nurse," he mumbles from behind the mask, "Are my testicles black?" Embarrassed the young nurse replies, "I don't know, I'm only here to wash your face and hands." He struggles again to ask, "Nurse, Are my testicles black?" Again the nurse replies, "I can't tell. I'm only here to wash your face and hands." The ward sister was passing and saw the man getting a little distraught so marched over to inquire what was wrong. "Sister," he mumbled, "Are my testicles black?" Being a nurse of longstanding, the sister was undaunted. She whipped back the bedclothes, pulled down his pajama trousers, moved his penis out of the way, had a right good look, pulled up the pajamas, replaced the bedclothes and announced, "Nothing wrong with them!!!" At this the Jewish man pulled off his oxygen mask and asked again, ...."Are my test results back???" For more jokes, stroll on over to: http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm + Contact Information ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ U wanna leave?See the base of this email for info. Advertising info:http://www.jokeemail.com/advertinfo.htm Everything else:http://www.jokeemail.com/contactus.htm This ezine is registered with the British Library as: ISSN 1471-020X © Copyright 1998-2004 Thomas Evans. All Rights Reserved. |
