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| Welcome to the world-renowned JOKE EMAIL! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Friday 7th February, 2003100,000 subscribers Have you taken any of these drugs? Baycol or Rezulin.... You may be entitled to money from the manufacturers of these prescription drugs. Submit a free, no obligation case submission now, and find out if you are due a sizeable financial settlement. http://mocda1.com/1/c/58526/87019/242154/242154 AOL users click here ___________________________________________________________ Joke Email is distributed by subscription only. You are receiving Joke Email because you subscribed at the JokeEmail.com site. + The Starter ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ "Promise, large promise, is the soul of an advertisement." so said Samuel Johnson - and who could argue? Yes, I promised the photos of the messiest fancy dress party is quite some time, but once again I have to cry off. Luckily, I have been granted a day's reprieve on Monday from the corner of Hell which commonly passes for the supermarket warehouse where I toil all hours of the day (and night). After a particularly bad day yesterday - in which I managed to smear my hands in maggot infested dog food, and almost break my wrist - things got entirely worse. Before leaving the store, the manager surprised the all the staff with a random security check (read: go through your pockets and bag to find any bad apples who might be on the thieve). Now, as you all know, I'm a standup bloke, who doesn't break the law and certainly doesn't steal. However, like almost every other red-blooded 21 year old male, I do like porn. After being so generous as to lend my 'special' DVD (bought in the seedy back streets of Amsterdam) to one of my colleagues, he had returned it to me earlier in the day. Yes, you've probably already guessed where this is going... So, the manager asks me to empty my rucksack. All the usual stuff falls out - wallet, sweater, shoes etc. Oh, and a dubious looking DVD wrapped in a polythene bag. Unsheathing the DVD from it's polymerized protection, the full glory of my 'special' DVD is plain for all to see. Not good times.. bad times. Quickly trying to explain how the DVD "isn't mine", I'm just "looking after it for a friend" seems to fall on deaf ears as the manager bursts into laughter. Humilation - pure and simple - was complete. Could things get any worse than this? Well, I guess I'm glad my name isn't 'Blanket', who's Dad thinks he's Peter Pan and lets kiddies sleep over FAR too regularly. Tom Evans Editor - Joke Email webmaster@jokeemail.com + If you have been exposed to Asbestos and have developed Mesothelioma, you may be due a sizable financial settlement. Contact one of our Attorneys immediately for a free consultation. http://mocda1.com/1/c/58526/87021/242154/242154 AOL users click here + TOTALLY new FunPages... CLEAN: End Clown Porn?? http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/clown_porn.htm AOL + Hunting Joke A group of friends went deer hunting and decided to pair off in two's for the day. That evening one of the hunters returned alone, staggering under the weight of an eight-point buck. "Where's Ed?" the other hunters asked. Ed's hunting partner, Brian, replied, "Ed must have had a heart attack. He just keeled over and died a couple of miles back up the trail." The other hunters gasped and one guy asked, "You left Ed laying out there and carried the deer back?" "It was a tough call," nodded Brian. "But I figured that nobody would steal Ed." + Find your soul-mate at Matchmaker.com. Find a soul-mate who shares your beliefs. Sign up now for a FREE one-week membership with no restrictions. No credit cards required. Stop Waiting, Go Meet Somebody at http://mocda2.com/1/c/58526/90883/242154/242154 AOL users click here + Medical Joke A gastroenterologist claims these are actual comments made by his patients made while he was performing colonoscopies: "Take it easy, Doc, you're boldly going where no man has gone before." "Find Amelia Earhart yet?" "Can you hear me NOW?" "Oh boy, that was sphincterrific!" "Could you write me a note for my wife, saying that my head is not, in fact, up there?" "You know, in some states, we're now legally married." "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?" "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out.. You do the Hokey Pokey...." "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!" "If your hand doesn't fit, you musta quit!" "Hey, Doc, let me know if you find my dignity." "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?" "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?" For more jokes, stroll on over to: http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm + Contact Information ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ U wanna leave?See the base of this email for info. Advertising info:http://www.jokeemail.com/advertinfo.htm Everything else:http://www.jokeemail.com/contactus.htm This ezine is registered with the British Library as: ISSN 1471-020X © Copyright 1998-2004 Thomas Evans. All Rights Reserved. |
