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| Welcome to the world-renowned JOKE EMAIL! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Wednesday 5th February, 2003100,000 subscribers TOROMAX MALE ENLARGEMENT PILLS 100% GUARANTEED Doctor approved Overnight Delivery Give Her Something Bigger in Bed! For more info, go to: http://mocda2.com/1/c/58526/89734/241620/241620 AOL users click here ___________________________________________________________ Joke Email is distributed by subscription only. You are receiving Joke Email because you subscribed at the JokeEmail.com site. + The Starter ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ The photos are back, the photos are funny, the photos run Friday! Just got to rearrange them into some sort of order, and you'll be able to cast your wistful eye over all types of costumes, ranging from beautiful Playboy bunnies to ghetto-fabulous pimps. Throw in the usual dash of alcoholic mayhem, my choirboy looks, and what you have are some damn funny (and if I may say, attractive) photos! I would've done the photos today, but I'm still smirking at the Wacko Jacko interview which aired on UK television a few nights ago. To be honest, I shouldn't laugh because the matters touched on in the show are somewhat dubious, however you can't help but smirk at the constant astonishment of interviewer Martin Bashir to Jackson's increasing bizarre answers - highlights include Jackson's belief that he is Peter Pan; and the use of a disability moped to tour the corridors of a Vegas hotel because he was "bored". Er.. quick question Michael, how can you get bored in VEGAS!? I understand the interview airs tomorrow night in the US, and I'd avise you to beg, borrow, or steal a TV set for two hours. Watch it. Tom Evans Editor - Joke Email webmaster@jokeemail.com + $1000 Payday Loan - Instant Approval http://mocda4.com/1/c/58526/90007/241620/241620 AOL users click here + TOTALLY new FunPages... ADULT: Wacko Jacko and The Beatles Collaborate On New Album Cover! http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/jacko.htm AOL + General Joke Marine Corps General Reinwald was interviewed on the radio the other day and you have to read his reply to the lady who interviewed him concerning guns and children. Regardless of how you feel about gun laws you got to love this! This is one of the best comeback lines of all time. It is a portion of a National Public Radio (NPR) interview between a female broadcaster and US Marine Corps General Reinwald who was about to sponsor a Boy Scout Troop visiting his military installation. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: So, General Reinwald, what things are you going to teach these young boys when they visit your base? GENERAL REINWALD: We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and shooting sports. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it? GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the rifle range. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be teaching children? GENERAL REINWALD: I don't see how. We will be teaching them proper rifle discipline before they even touch a firearm. FEMALE INTERVIEWER: But you're equipping them to become violent killers. GENERAL REINWALD: Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute, but you're not one, are you? The radio went silent and the interview ended. ... :) + You can receive FREE INSTALLATION of a Dish Network Satellite TV System! You can also upgrade to a Personal Digital Video Recorder. Click here to get your FREE INSTALLATION of a Dish Network satellite TV System and 1 month of free service. http://mocda3.com/1/c/58526/86152/241620/241620 AOL users click here + Real Life Joke Note: Difficult to judge whether some of these are actually true, or just urban legends. Either way, I reckon they're kinda amusing... PROOF That The World Is NUTS! - In Lebanon, men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death. (Like THAT makes sense.) - The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. (Much worse than "going blind!") - There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside and deflower young virgins, who pay them for the privilege of having sex for the first time...Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry. (Let's just think for a minute; is there any job anywhere else in the world, that even comes close to this?) - In Hong Kong, a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired. (Ah! Justice!) - Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England - but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!) - In Cali, Colombia, a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act. (Makes one shudder at the thought.) - In Santa Cruz, Bolivia, it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time. (I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?) - In Maryland, it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises." (Is this a great country or what? Not as great as Guam!) - Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour. (Who volunteers for this stuff?) - Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure. (Is that why Flipper was always smiling?) - The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue...(Hummm....I won't touch THAT one!) - The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and always falls over on its right side when intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of...? -- did the U.S.govt. pay for this research??) - An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain. (I know some people like that.) - Starfish don't have brains. (I know some people like that too) And, the best for last..... - Turtles can breathe through their butts. (Do you think they have bad breath?) For more jokes, stroll on over to: http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm + Contact Information ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ U wanna leave?Click the link at the end of this email Advertising info:http://www.jokeemail.com/advertinfo.htm Everything else:http://www.jokeemail.com/contactus.htm This ezine is registered with the British Library as: ISSN 1471-020X © Copyright 1998-2004 Thomas Evans. 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