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| Welcome to the world-renowned JOKE EMAIL! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Monday 3rd February, 2003100,000 subscribers PLANNING A VISIT TO WALT DISNEY WORLD? Kissimmee-St. Cloud offers a friendly neighborhood setting, drenched in sunshine and right next door to the Walt Disney World(R) Resort. To order your free VACATION PLANNING KIT ... Click here http://mocda4.com/1/c/58526/80348/240950/240950 AOL users click here ___________________________________________________________ Joke Email is distributed by subscription only. You are receiving Joke Email because you subscribed at the JokeEmail.com site. + The Starter ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Decided to postpone the post-mortem of my riotous night out until Wednesday, by which time I *may* just have a photos to illustrate some of the highly amusing events of the evening.. and believe me.. there were MANY! Tom Evans Editor - Joke Email webmaster@jokeemail.com + Sexual energy unleashed. A giant boost of sexual energy that works for any man ant any age. Get Maxicor Now. Click here for your free 30 day supply. http://mocda.com/1/c/58526/90917/240950/240950 AOL users click here + TOTALLY new FunPages... ADULT: Kiddies Always Want The REAL THING! http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/real_thing.htm AOL + Drinking Joke A regular walks into a bar, looking blue. The bartender starts setting him up his usual, and our man, Dave, says, "No, no - just a glass of juice." Taken aback, the bartender asks what the hell has gotten into him? Dave responds, "Well, my wife told me that if she catches me coming home late and drunk after I've thrown up on myself one more time, she'll divorce me! And this time she means it. I'm blue..." "Hey, no problem!" the bartender says as he starts setting Dave up again. "Do you have any big bills on you?" "Well, sure," says Dave. "I just got paid." "Okay," says the bartender, "drink all you want and rolf like you usually do, and when you get home and she bitches, show her a $50 bill and tell her someone threw up on YOU, then offered to pay for the shirt!" What a great idea, Dave thinks, and starts knocking them back. Later that night, when Dave gets home late, drunk, and having thrown up on himself, his wife meets him at the door, screaming: "Damn it, Dave - I've told you! That's it!" "Wait! Wait! It's not me! Some drunk threw up on ME and gave me this $50 bill to pay for my shirt!" She yanks the money out of his hand. "Dave, this is a $100 bill." "Well," Dave replies, "that same drunk crapped my pants as well." + Do you have heartburn? Click for free help! http://mocda2.com/1/c/58526/90262/240950/240950 AOL users click here + Marriage Joke There are three golfers, (Bob, Max, and Ted) who are looking for a fourth. Bob mentions that his friend George is a pretty good golfer, so they decide to invite him for the following Saturday. "Sure, I'd love to play," says George, "but I may be about ten minutes late, so wait for me." Saturday rolls around. Bob, Max, and Ted arrive promptly at 9:00, and find George already waiting for them. He plays right-handed, and beats them all. Quite pleased with their new fourth, they ask him if he'd like to play again the following Saturday. "Yeah, sounds great," says George. "But I may be about ten minutes late, so wait for me." The following Saturday, again, all four golfers show up on time, but this time George plays left-handed, and beats them all. As they're getting ready to leave, George says, "See you next Saturday. But I may be about ten minutes late, so wait for me." Every week from now on, George is right on time and plays great with whichever hand he decides to use. And every week, he departs with the same message. After a couple months, Ted is pretty tired of this routine, so he says, "Wait a minute, George. Every week you say you may be about ten minutes late, but you're right on time. You beat us either left-handed or right-handed. What's the story?" "Well," George says, "I'm kind of superstitious. When I get up in the morning, I look at my wife. If she's sleeping on her left side, I play left-handed, and if she's sleeping on her right side, I play right-handed." "So what do you do if she's sleeping on her back?" Bob asks. "Then I'll be about ten minutes late," George answers. For more jokes, stroll on over to: http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm + Contact Information ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ U wanna leave?Click the link at the end of this email Advertising info:http://www.jokeemail.com/advertinfo.htm Everything else:http://www.jokeemail.com/contactus.htm This ezine is registered with the British Library as: ISSN 1471-020X © Copyright 1998-2004 Thomas Evans. All Rights Reserved. |
