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| Welcome to the world-renowned JOKE EMAIL! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Friday 31st January, 2003100,000 subscribers Do you have heartburn? Click here for free samples and information! http://mocda4.com/1/c/58526/90261/240242/240242 AOL users click here ___________________________________________________________ Joke Email is distributed by subscription only. You are receiving Joke Email because you subscribed at the JokeEmail.com site. + The Starter ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Oops. In a rush AGAIN. I will let you know about my fancy dress party on Monday - let's just say my costume looks like the dogs ... 'Nuff said. Tom Evans Editor - Joke Email webmaster@jokeemail.com + Workplace Joke What those words on your yearly performance review REALLY mean... OUTGOING PERSONALITY Always going out of the office GREAT PRESENTATION SKILLS Able to bullshit GOOD COMMUNICATION SKILLS Spends lots of time on phone WORK IS FIRST PRIORITY Too ugly to get a date ACTIVE SOCIALLY Drinks a lot INDEPENDENT WORKER Nobody knows what he/she does QUICK THINKING Offers plausible excuses CAREFUL THINKER Won't make a decision USES LOGIC ON DIFFICULT JOBS Gets someone else to do it EXPRESSES THEMSELVES WELL Speaks English METICULOUS ATTENTION TO DETAIL A nit picker HAS LEADERSHIP QUALITIES Is tall or has a louder voice EXCEPTIONALLY GOOD JUDGEMENT Lucky KEEN SENSE OF HUMOUR Knows a lot of dirty jokes CAREER MINDED Back Stabber LOYAL Can't get a job anywhere else PLANS FOR PROMOTION/ADVANCEMENT Buys drinks for all the boys OF GREAT VALUE TO THE ORGANISATION Gets to work on time RELAXED ATTITUDE Sleeps at desk + Do you have heartburn? Click for free help! http://mocda4.com/1/c/58526/90262/240242/240242 AOL users click here + Political Joke George Bush has a heart attack and dies. He goes to hell where the devil is waiting for him. "I don't know what to do here, " says the devil. "You are on my list but I have no room for you. You definitely have to stay here, so I'll tell you what I'm going to do. I've got three folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let YOU decide who leaves." George thought that sounded pretty good, so he agreed. The devil opened the first room: in it was Richard Nixon and a large pool of water. He kept diving in and surfacing empty-handed over and over and over. Such was his fate in hell. "No!" George said. "I don't think so. I'm not a good swimmer and don't think I could do that all day long." The devil led him to the next room: in it was Tony Blair with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time after time. "No, I've got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day!" commented George. The devil opened a third door. In it, George saw Bill Clinton, lying on the floor with his arms staked over his head, and his legs staked in spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best. George Bush looked at this in disbelief for a while and finally said, "Yeah, I can handle this." The devil smiled and said... "OK, Monica, you're free to go!" -From John Lynch For more jokes, stroll on over to: http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm + Contact Information ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ U wanna leave?Click the link at the end of this email Advertising info:http://www.jokeemail.com/advertinfo.htm Everything else:http://www.jokeemail.com/contactus.htm This ezine is registered with the British Library as: ISSN 1471-020X © Copyright 1998-2004 Thomas Evans. All Rights Reserved. |
