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| Welcome to the world-renowned JOKE EMAIL! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Wednesday 29th January, 2003100,000 subscribers Our Best Offer Yet! Join & Get 5 DVDs for just 49¢ each (+ shipping & processing)! Build your DVD collection with titles like Shrek, Gladiator, The Lord Of The Rings: The Fellowship Of The Ring, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, John Q, Titanic + Many More. All at incredible savings! Click here for details. http://mocda.com/1/c/58526/85940/239653/239653 AOL users click here ___________________________________________________________ Joke Email is distributed by subscription only. You are receiving Joke Email because you subscribed at the JokeEmail.com site. + The Starter ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Okay, fresh from my disappointment with the Superbowl, and after days of mulling over why I chose to change sides at the 11th hour, I'm feeling much better. Poorer, but better. Like many gutted fans, I was unable to watch the last few seconds of the game and the subsequent 'crowning' ceremony. The major reason why I didn't watch latter of these two events is simple: I HATE watching some rich tycoon lift a sports trophy. And this is the thing that constantly annoys me about watching American sports - with the possibly exception of hockey, in most other professional sports Mr. Moneybags owner prances onto the field, lifts the trophy, and takes the credit. Why? Worst example was the Rams a couple of years back, and then the Dbacks last season. Most awkward few minutes in sport, as the trim, hardworking players watch the billionaire octogenarian stumble down to the field from their luxery box, to take all the credit and applause. I'm telling you, if I'm one of the players, I'm kicking away their walking stick as they pass, and grabbing the trophy myself. Rant finished, I now concentrate on more important matters. No, not the impending armageddon in the Middle East, but what should I wear to my friend's fancy dress Birthday party? This task is made all the more complicated by the following caveat: the costume must begin with the letter "P" eg, penguin, pirate, pilot etc. I'm leaning towards going as a pilot, however my funds are limited in regard to hiring said costume, thus I'm taking any suggestions on potential outfits. There are two essential requirements of any costume: a) Cheap is good. Free is better. Any outfit I can tack together from odds and ends around the house (or charity shop) is always a bonus. b) Has to look suave and sophisticated. Let's just say I'm not envisioning arriving looking like Peter Pan... Answers on a postcard: Tom Evans Editor - Joke Email webmaster@jokeemail.com + FREE Your PC From Corrupt Files Now! Have the peace of mind knowing your computer is automatically kept error-free, 24 hours a day! Safe. Simple. Secure. Silent. This proven, automated, and easy-to-use PC health check tool is guaranteed to instantly expose harmful files lurking on your computer. Get your FREE PC Health Check today at: http://mocda2.com/1/c/58526/80159/239653/239653 AOL users click here + TOTALLY new FunPages... CLEAN: Fluent in Japanese?? http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/japanese.htm AOL + Topical Joke After Tampa Bay won Super Bowl XXXVII, hundreds of Oakland Raider fans took to the streets of the city, setting fires, breaking windows, and throwing rocks and bottles. Though three firemen were treated for minor injuries, none of the 400 police officers on hand to control the crowd were injured. Apparently, Raider fans can't throw any better than Rich Gannon. + WE GUARANTEE your Credit will be Approved! It Doesn't Matter if You Have: BAD CREDIT - NO CREDIT - LOW INCOME - PAST BANKRUPTCY http://mocda1.com/1/c/58526/84507/239653/239653 AOL users click here + Foreign Joke These are concerning statistics for the English speaking among you... In Japan, the fat intake in the average Japanese diet is very low and the heart disease ratio is lower than in North America and the UK. However, in France, the average fat intake is very high, and yet, the heart disease ratio is lower than in North America and the UK. In India almost no one drinks red wine and the heart disease ratio is lower than in North America and the UK. In Spain, everybody drinks too much red wine and the heart disease ratio is lower than in North America and the UK. In Algeria, the average sexual activity ratio is very high and the heart disease ratio is lower than in North America and the UK. In Brazil, everybody has sex like crazy and the heart disease ratio is lower than in North America and the UK. In Austria, adults smoke 2 packs of cigarettes per day, on average. Conclusion: Drink, eat, smoke and screw all you want. It's speaking English that kills you. For more jokes, stroll on over to: http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm + Contact Information ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ U wanna leave?Click the link at the end of this email Advertising info:http://www.jokeemail.com/advertinfo.htm Everything else:http://www.jokeemail.com/contactus.htm This ezine is registered with the British Library as: ISSN 1471-020X © Copyright 1998-2004 Thomas Evans. All Rights Reserved. |
