|
JOIN! |
Have you subscribed to Joke Email? The funniest weekly jokes >>
|
|
|
||||||
| Have you subscribed to Joke Email? The funniest weekly jokes >> | ||||||||
| Welcome to the world-renowned JOKE EMAIL! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Monday 20th January, 2003100,000 subscribers * * * Empower Yourself To Stick To ANY Diet!!! * * * Find healthy comfort food alternatives which provide the same feelings. Stop stress eating from sabotaging weight loss goals. The "7 Laws of Personal Weight Loss Motivation" customizes a plan to your unique needs and personality. http://www.webmarketingmagic.com/app/adtrack.asp?AdID=25521 ___________________________________________________________ Joke Email is distributed by subscription only. You are receiving Joke Email because you subscribed at the JokeEmail.com site. + The Starter ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ The "anti-tips" run of great form continue. After tipping both the Eagles and Titans to win, the Bucs and Raiders duly obliged. I hope I made you gamblers a few bucks. The lesson as always, never follow my tips - in fact, going AGAINST my tips will likely leave you in a hefty profit. I actually followed this theory myself yesterday, I backed Tampa against Phillie, even though I was convinced I'd be watching Gruden's "I can't believe I left the Raiders for this crappy franchise" face as Brad Johnson threw interception after interception. Didn't happen, so I'm pleased. So, I bet you're asking yourself now, "Tom, what's your anti-tip for the Big Dance?". Heck, I don't wanna jump the gun, since the Superbowl is still a week away, but my pick is the Bucs. Defence wins championships, and Oakland has no D at all. That's right, Bucs is the pick, so pile onto the Raiders for the Superbowl. One final thought for the week, please support our new advertiser helping you to empower yourself to stick to any diet: http://www.webmarketingmagic.com/app/adtrack.asp?AdID=25521 Tom Evans Editor - Joke Email webmaster@jokeemail.com + Click here to enter Travelocity’s post-holiday Recoup and Relax Sweepstakes today. You could win a $25,000 cash grand prize or one of five all-expense-paid spa vacations. Tell your friends and you’ll receive additional entries into the contest. No purchase necessary. http://mocda3.com/1/c/58526/88254/237075/237075 AOL users click here + TOTALLY new FunPages... ADULT: Can you handle THIS much?? This is Freaky! http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/handle.htm AOL + Student Joke A+ phrases to use in any reports. . . The following list of phrases and their definitions might help you understand the mysterious language of science and medicine. These special phrases are also applicable to anyone reading a PhD dissertation, academic paper, political speech. "IT HAS LONG BEEN KNOWN"... I didn't look up the original reference. "A DEFINITE TREND IS EVIDENT"... This data are practically meaningless. "WHILE IT HAS NOT BEEN POSSIBLE TO PROVIDE DEFINITE ANSWERS TO THE QUESTIONS"... An unsuccessful experiment, but I still hope to get it published. "THREE OF THE SAMPLES WERE CHOSEN FOR DETAILED STUDY" ... The other results didn't make any sense. "TYPICAL RESULTS ARE SHOWN"... This is the prettiest graph. "THESE RESULTS WILL BE IN A SUBSEQUENT REPORT"... I might get around to this sometime, if pushed or funded. "IN MY EXPERIENCE"... Once "IN CASE AFTER CASE"... Twice "IN A SERIES OF CASES"... Thrice "IT IS BELIEVED THAT"... I think. "IT IS GENERALLY BELIEVED THAT"... A couple of others think so, too. "CORRECT WITHIN AN ORDER OF MAGNITUDE"... Wrong. "ACCORD1NG TO STATISTICAL ANALYSIS"... Rumor has it. "A STATISTICALLY-ORIENTED PROJECTION OF THE SIGNIFICANCE OF THESE FINDINGS"... A wild guess. "A CAREFUL ANALYSIS OF OBTAINABLE DATA"... Three pages of notes were obliterated when I knocked over a glass of Coors beer. "IT IS CLEAR THAT MUCH ADDITIONAL WORK WILL BE REQUIRED BEFORE A COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING OF THIS PHENOMENON OCCURS"... I don't understand it at all. "AFTER ADDITIONAL STUDY BY MY COLLEAGUES"... They don't understand it either. "THANKS ARE DUE TO MORRIS BLOTZ FOR ASSISTANCE WITH THE EXPERIMENT AND TO CINDY ADAMS FOR VALUABLE DISCUSSIONS" ... Mr. Blotz did the work and Ms. Adams explained to me what it meant. "A HIGHLY SIGNIFICANT AREA FOR EXPLORATORY STUDY" ... A totally useless topic selected by my PhD committee. " THIS FIELD IS OPEN FOR FURTHER STUDY "...I quit ! + Get 12 CDs for the price of 1, nothing more to buy, ever! http://mocda4.com/1/c/58526/88803/237075/237075 AOL users click here + Dirty Joke An exhibitionist named Joe was preparing to board a flight to Atlanta. As he approached the open door of the plane at the end of the jet way, a very attractive flight attendant was collecting boarding passes. As she reached down toward Joe for his boarding pass, he opened his raincoat and exposed himself. "I'm sorry sir" she said politely, "but you have to show your ticket, not your stub." For more jokes, stroll on over to: http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm + Contact Information ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ U wanna leave?Click the link at the end of this email Advertising info:http://www.jokeemail.com/advertinfo.htm Everything else:http://www.jokeemail.com/contactus.htm ___________________________________________________________ This ezine is registered with the British Library as: ISSN 1471-020X © Copyright 1998-2004 Thomas Evans. All Rights Reserved. |
