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| Welcome to JokeEmail.com's Joke Email ! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Monday 8th April, 2002162,000 subscribers CHECK THIS OUT! Free CellPhone Magic Flash Detector! It FLASHES when you have incoming calls! Get a cool incoming call detector for you cellphone for FREE. (Valid for U.S. Residents Only) http://www.jokeemail.com/free/flash.htm AOL ___________________________________________________________ Joke Email is distributed by subscription only. You are receiving Joke Email because you subscribed either at the JokeEmail.com site, or through a SuperTAF Tell a Friend form on other humor sites. Removal instructions are located the end of this Ezine. + The Starter ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Hey, Time: 21.30 GMT. Sleep in the past 36 hours: 120 minutes. Near misses while driving car tired: Two which I was aware of.. possibly several more. Typos in this email: numerous. Wondering what I'm talking about? Yeh, me too... sleep depravation does that to a guy. Summing up the past 48 hours in as few words as possible (because lets face it, I am knackered... two hours sleep in one and half days is not a healthy lifestyle choice) Saturday: The lure of two of my favourite pastimes combining for just one day of the year was just too great for even me to resist. There are greater forces at work which no one can explain, and showing the Grand National horse race down the pub, on the day before my dissertation needs to be completed, proves this beyond any doubt. Still, you can't beat these little Saturday afternoon adventures, especically when one of my horses came second and was SO close to winning. (As a sidebar, the other horse I tipped - Davids Lad at 12-1 - fell at the last fence while in third) Anyway, I digress. After a frantic Saturday night, it dawned on me that: a) My dissertation was not finished. b) My man Snoop was on the money with 'Gin and Juice' (this is officially now my favourite drink) c) My dissertation required lots of work. d) My dissertation would likely take all day to finish. And so it proved, since I finished it at 6am this morning. Slept for two hours. Out of bed, drove the hour and half to University, handed in work, drove home. Wrote this... Take it easy ;-) Tom Evans Editor - Joke Email webmaster@jokeemail.com + TOTALLY new FunPages... ADULT: Keep Judge Judy away from ME! http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/judgejudy.htm AOL CLEAN: Do you have Mcbeal Syndrome? http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/mcbeal.htm AOL + World Politics Joke Axis of Evil Bitter after being snubbed for membership in the "Axis of Evil," Libya, China, and Syria today announced they had formed the "Axis of Just as Evil," which they said would be way eviler than that stupid Iran-Iraq-North Korea axis President Bush warned of his State of the Union address. Axis of Evil members, however, immediately dismissed the new axis as having, for starters, a really dumb name. "Right. They are Just as Evil...in their dreams!" declared North Korean leader Kim Jong-il. "Everybody knows we're the best evils... best at being evil... we're the best." Diplomats from Syria denied they were jealous over being excluded, although they conceded they did ask if they could join the Axis of Evil. "They told us it was full," said Syrian President Bashar al-Assad. "An Axis can't have more than three countries," explained Iraqi President Saddam Hussein. "This is not my rule, it's tradition. In World War II you had Germany, Italy, and Japan in the evil Axis. So you can only have three. And a secret handshake. Ours is wicked cool." THE AXIS PANDEMIC International reaction to Bush's Axis of Evil declaration was swift, as within minutes, France surrendered. Elsewhere, peer-conscious nations rushed to gain triumvirate status in what became a game of geopolitical chairs. Cuba, Sudan, and Serbia said they had formed the Axis of Somewhat Evil, forcing Somalia to join with Uganda and Myanmar in the Axis of Occasionally Evil, while Bulgaria, Indonesia and Russia established the Axis of Not So Much Evil Really As Just Generally Disagreeable. With the criteria suddenly expanded and all the desirable clubs filling up, Sierra Leone, El Salvador, and Rwanda applied to be called the Axis of Countries That Aren't the Worst But Certainly Won't Be Asked to Host the Olympics; Canada, Mexico, and Australia formed the Axis of Nations That Are Actually Quite Nice But Secretly Have Nasty Thoughts About America, while Spain, Scotland, and New Zealand established the Axis of Countries That Be Allowed to Ask Sheep to Wear Lipstick."That's not a threat, really, just something we like to do," said Scottish Executive First Minister Jack McConnell. While wondering if the other nations of the world weren't perhaps making fun of him, a cautious Bush granted approval for most axes, although he rejected the establishment of the Axis of Countries Whose Names End in "Guay," accusing one of its members of filing a false application. Officials from Paraguay, Uruguay, and Chadguay denied the charges. Israel, meanwhile, insisted it didn't want to join any Axis, but privately, world leaders said that's only because no one asked them. + CHECK THIS OUT! Free CellPhone Magic Flash Detector! It FLASHES when you have incoming calls! Get a cool incoming call detector for you cellphone for FREE. (Valid for U.S. Residents Only) http://www.jokeemail.com/free/flash.htm + Dirty Joke A man is sitting on a train across from a busty blonde wearing a tiny mini skirt. Despite his efforts, he is unable to stop staring at the top of her thighs. To his delight, he realizes she has gone without underwear. The blonde realizes he is staring and inquires, "Are you looking at my pussy?" "Yes, I'm sorry," replies the man and promises to avert his eyes. "It's quite alright," replies the woman, "It's very talented, watch this, I'll make it blow a kiss to you." Sure enough the pussy blows him a kiss. The man, who is completely absorbed, inquires what else the wonder pussy can do. "I can also make it wink," says the woman. The man stares in amazement as the pussy winks at him. "Come and sit next to me," suggests the woman, patting the seat. The man moves over and is asked, "Would you like to stick a couple of fingers in?" Stunned, the man replies, "Good grief! Can it whistle too?!" For more jokes, click here http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm + Contact Information ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ To unsubscribe:leave-jokeemail@relay.netatlantic.com Advertising inquiries:advertinfo@jokeemail.com Everything else:webmaster@jokeemail.com ___________________________________________________________ This ezine is registered with the British Library as: ISSN 1471-020X © Copyright 1998-2004 Thomas Evans. All Rights Reserved. |
