|
JOIN! |
Have you subscribed to Joke Email? The funniest weekly jokes >>
|
|
|
||||||
| Have you subscribed to Joke Email? The funniest weekly jokes >> | ||||||||
| Welcome to JokeEmail.com's Joke Email ! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Monday 25th March, 2002162,000 subscribers ORGASM MAGNIFYING CREAM, FORMULATED JUST FOR WOMEN! How would you like to have the BEST SEX you've EVER had? Femistim, our breakthrough Sex Enhancing, Orgasm Magnifying Cream is GUARANTEED to spice things up in the bedroom like you've never before experienced! For more info, please visit http://www.jokeemail.com/stuff/femistim.htm AOL Link ___________________________________________________________ Joke Email is distributed by subscription only. You are receiving Joke Email because you subscribed either at the JokeEmail.com site, or through a SuperTAF Tell a Friend form on other humor sites. Removal instructions are located the end of this Ezine. + The Starter ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Hey, Friday night was messy... very messy. I decided to continue the celebration of finishing (half) of my project out on the town. Now the funny thing is that the joke right below almost mirrors exactly everything I do when I get tattered - particularly the submarine sandwich... just don't ask about the "Pavement Burger" incident... that's a story of folklore round our way! Take it easy ;-) Tom Evans Editor - Joke Email webmaster@jokeemail.com + TOTALLY new FunPages... ADULT: A Prophecy ALL Men would like! http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/prophecy.htm AOL CLEAN: Gods Choice.. http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/godschoice.htm AOL + Drinking Joke Twenty Clues to Calling it a Night... 1. I have absolutely no idea where my wallet is. (Or pants... but that's a long story). 2. I believe that dancing with my arms over head and my butt wiggling while yelling woo-hoo is truly the sexiest dance move around. 3. I've suddenly decide I want to kick someone's ass and honestly believe I could do it too. 4. In my last trip to "pee" I realize I now look more like Tammy Faye Baker than the goddess I was just four hours ago. 5. I drop my 3:00 a.m. submarine on the floor (which I'm eating even though I'm not the least bit hungry), pick it up and carry on eating it. 6. I start crying and telling everyone I see that I love them sooo much. 7. There are less than three hours before I'm due to start work. 8. I've found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to me. 9. The person I'm flirting with used to be my 5th grade teacher. 10. The urge to take off articles of clothing, stand on a table and sing becomes strangely overwhelming. 11. My eyes just don't seem to want to stay open on their own so I keep them half closed and think it looks exotically sexy. 12. I've suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it. 13. I yell at the bartender, who (I think) cheated me by giving me lemonade, but that's just because I can no longer taste the gin. 14. I think I'm in bed, but my pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor. 15. I start every conversation with a booming, "Don't take this the wrong way but..." 16. I fail to notice that the toilet lid's down when I sit on it. 17. My hugs begin to resemble wrestling take-down moves. 18. I'm tired so I just sit on the floor (wherever I happen to be standing) and take a quick nap. 19. I begin leaving the button's open on my button fly pants to cut down on the time I'm in the washroom away from my drink. 20. I take my shoes off because I believe it's their fault that I'm having problems walking straight. + ORGASM MAGNIFYING CREAM, FORMULATED JUST FOR WOMEN! http://www.jokeemail.com/stuff/femistim.htm + Career Joke Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful. What makes life 100%? If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26. Then, H A R D W O R K 8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98% K N O W L E D G E 11 14 15 23 12 5 4 7 5 = 96% But, A T T I T U D E 1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100% And, B U L L S H I T 2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103% So, it stands to reason that hand work and knowledge will get you close, attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top. For more jokes, click here http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm + Contact Information ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ To unsubscribe:leave-jokeemail@relay.netatlantic.com Advertising inquiries:advertinfo@jokeemail.com Everything else:webmaster@jokeemail.com ___________________________________________________________ This ezine is registered with the British Library as: ISSN 1471-020X © Copyright 1998-2004 Thomas Evans. All Rights Reserved. |
