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| Welcome to JokeEmail.com's Joke Email ! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Monday 4th February, 2002120,000 subscribers Check out the newest and HOTTEST trivia site on the Internet! YouWinTrivia.com pays out Daily Cash Awards, Monthly Grand Awards and the Trivia World Championship for $1 Million Dollars. http://www.jokeemail.com/free/trivia.htm ___________________________________________________________ Joke Email is distributed by subscription only. You are receiving Joke Email because you subscribed either at the JokeEmail.com site, or through a SuperTAF Tell a Friend form on Gaspirtz.com. Removal instructions are located the end of this Ezine. + The Starter ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Hey, It continues to amaze me how alcohol can affect memory. I mean, there I was Wednesday night at my mate's Norm's 21st party and I cannot recall anything that happened after about 1am. Wierd? Certainly. Annoying? Very. In the words of Ice Cube - it was a good day. Plenty of fun, culminating in myself and Cov Dave tag-teaming on the dancefloor. That worked well, but Birthday boy Norm was nowhere to be seen. Come 1'o clock, I went looking for the lad, and there he was sprawled out on the dancefloor. Waking him up, he discovered he had lost his mobile and he crawled around on the dancefloor looking for it (to no avail). Then things start to get hazy, and the next thing I remember is Norm trying to cook us both sausage sandwiches. However, instead of following the cooking instructions to the letter ("cook slowly on a low heat") he was ravenous for food and managed to completely burn the outside of each sausage, leaving beautiful, uncooked meat in the centre. Wisely, I declined the generous offer, but he tucked in. Next morning, he felt their full effect. So, the moral of the story? Well, there are several, but if you wish to retain your health, don't try to cook *anything* at 2am in the morning after a big night out. (on a related note, this is how my housemate Spen burnt down his kitchen last year..) This was actually supposed to be Friday's issue, but because our list host (the people who actually send out the emails) had to upgrade or something on Friday, it only got delivered to about 1600 people. So I figured I'd send it out today instead. At least now it allows me to talk about the SuperBowl a little more than I planned. See, I live in the UK and to watch the SuperBowl I'd have to either a) go to a seedy late night bar on my own to watch it, or b) purchase a cable or satellite TV package (not really an option). The third option - watch the highlights tonight and try not to hear the score - was my preference, and I had it all planned ... avoid anyone who may know the score, don't check my email, and don't watch TV. However, my recent plans have all been flawed, and today was no different. I awoke at 9 and flicked on the radio to listen to music while I slept, but for some unknown reason, the news on the radio station decided it would suddenly take an interest in the SuperBowl and announced the score! Bastards! Still, it wasn't all bad - I had a few bucks on the Pats with the +14 handicap, so although annoyed, it was a good feeling sleepily realising my bet had come off ;-) Have a good week! Tom Evans Editor - Joke Email webmaster@jokeemail.com + TOTALLY new FunPages... ADULT: Peeping Tom: He doesn't like what he sees! http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/peep_tom.htm AOL CLEAN: Iron Mike will promote ANYTHING for hard cash. http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/tyson.htm AOL + Birthday Joke Becky the wife had a birthday coming and her husband Melvin wanted to know what she desired. She said she'd like to have a big Jaguar. He didn't think it was best for her. But, she begged and begged until he gave in and got her a big one. It ate her. + HOTTEST trivia site on the Internet! http://www.jokeemail.com/free/trivia.htm + Career Joke A local law enforcement officer stopped a car for traveling faster than the posted speed limit. Since he's in a good mood that day he decides to give the poor fellow a break and write him out a warning instead of a ticket. So, he asks the man his name. "Fred," he replies. "Fred what?" the officer asks. "Just Fred," the man responds. When the officer presses him for a last name, the man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks he has a nutcase on his hands but plays along with it. "Tell me Fred, how did you lose your last name?" The man replies, "It's a long story so stay with me. I was born Fred Dingaling. I know, funny last name. The kids used to tease me all the time. So I stayed to myself. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, finally got my degree so I was Fred Dingaling, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream. Got all the way through school, got my degree so I was now Fred Dingaling MD DDS. Got bored doing dentistry so I started fooling around with my assistant.She gave me VD. So, I was Fred Dingaling , MD DDS with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD so they took away my DDS so I was Fred Dingaling , MD with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Dingaling with VD. Then the VD took away my 'dingaling' so now I'm just Fred." The officer walked away in tears, laughing so hard and tore up the Warning Ticket -from Mike Spear For more jokes, click here http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm + Contact Information ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ To unsubscribe:leave-jokeemail@relay.netatlantic.com Advertising inquiries:advertinfo@jokeemail.com Everything else:webmaster@jokeemail.com ___________________________________________________________ This ezine is registered with the British Library as: ISSN 1471-020X © Copyright 1998-2004 Thomas Evans. All Rights Reserved. |
