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| Welcome to JokeEmail.com's Joke Email ! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Monday 31st December, 2001113,000 subscribers Enter to win an Xbox Video Game System! Includes Xbox console with one controller 4 Games: Oddworld, Madden NFL 2002, Dark Summit, Azurik PLUS, an Additional Xbox Controller and 8MB Memory Card FREE to Enter! http://www.jokeemail.com/free/win_xbox.htm ___________________________________________________________ Joke Email is distributed by subscription only. You are receiving Joke Email because you subscribed either at the JokeEmail.com site, or through a SuperTAF Tell a Friend form. If you have subscribed in error, unsubscribe instructions are located the end of this Ezine. + The Starter ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Hey, Have a Great New Year whatever you're upto! I'm off to some all night party tonight (till 6am).. I get the feeling I'll be leaving slightly early - I can't take these ultra-late-nights now I'm getting older ;-) 2001 was a good year for me and JokeEmail.com, but unfortunately some horrific events made it a tough year for a lot of people. Let's hope for a brighter 2002... => New fun pages... => are right below... Tom Evans Editor - Joke Email webmaster@jokeemail.com + TOTALLY new FunPages... ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ADULT: Shocked Pussy http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/shockedpussy.htm AOL CLEAN: Santa won't be delivering next year... http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/nomoresanta.htm AOL + General Joke ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Signs that You're the Reincarnation of Someone Famous... => During a thunderstorm, you build a giant boat and start stealing your neighbor's pets. => When the boss criticizes your work, you hack off your right ear and mail it to him. => Not only do you consider Yoko an artistic genius, you think she's beautiful and has a lovely singing voice. => While working under the sink, you get this insatiable urge to paint a church ceiling. => You sell all your belongings and move into a barn with a guy named Wilbur in North Carolina. => You wake up during a thunder storm and go out to fly a kite. => Out of luck winos are bringing you jugs of water. => You're found writing down rules of the office on giant stone tablets. + Win an Xbox Video Game System! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ FREE to Enter! http://www.jokeemail.com/free/win_xbox.htm + Dirty Joke ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ This is a joke/story I heard a while ago, but I read it again and it's still funny. If you don't laugh at the end of reading this then there's something wrong with you... :-) Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this on the car radio. Many Chicago folks DID hear this on the WBAM FM morning show in Chicago. The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate Match". The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers "yes", he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for verification.If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize. One particular game, however, several months ago made the City of Big Shoulders drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing I've heard yet. Anyway, here's how it all went down: DJ: "Hey! This is Edgar on WBAM. Have you ever heard of 'MateMatch'?" Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have." DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to Orlando, Florida if you win. What is your name? First only please." Contestant: "Brian." DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?" Brian: "Yes." DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're married or you're what?" Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married." DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please." Brian: "Sara." DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?" Brian: "She is gonna kill me." DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?" Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work." DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?" Brian: "She is gonna kill me." DJ: "Brian! Stay with me here!" Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning." DJ: "Atta boy, Brian." Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..." DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?" Brian: "About 10 minutes." DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one wouldever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake." Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice." DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this morning?" Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..." DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?" Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mom is staying with us for a couple of weeks..." DJ: "Uh huh..." Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time." DJ: "Atta boy, Brian." Brian: "On the kitchen table." DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I've done it. Okay folks,I will put Brian on hold, get this wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this." 3 minutes of commercials follow. DJ: "Okay audience, let's call Sarah, shall we?" (touch tones.....ringing....) Clerk: "Kinkos." DJ: "Hey, is Sarah around there somewhere?" Clerk: "This is she." DJ: "Sarah, this is Edgar with WBAM. We are live on the air right now and I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now." Sarah: (laughing) "A couple of hours?" DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you know the rules of 'MateMatch'?" Sarah: "No." DJ: "Good!" Brian: (laughing) Sarah: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?" Brian (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest." DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sarah. If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to Orlando, Florida for 5 days on us. Disney World. Sea World. Tickets to the Magic's game. The whole deal. Get it Sarah?" Sarah: (laughing) "Yes." DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex, Sarah?" Sarah: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work." DJ: "What time?" Sarah: "Around 8 this morning." DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?" Sarah: "12, 15 minutes maybe." DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last question, Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to Florida. Are you ready?" Sarah: (laughing) "Yes." DJ: "Where did you have it?" Sarah: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that, did you?" Brian: "Just tell him, honey." DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sarah?" Sarah: "Well, it's just that my mom is vacationing.... DJ: Come on Sarah.....where did you have it? Sarah: "In the ass....." After a long pause, the DJ said, "Folks, we need to take a station break" For more jokes, click here http://www.jokeemail.com/random.htm + Contact Information ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ To unsubscribe:leave-jokeemail@relay.netatlantic.com Advertising inquiries:advertinfo@jokeemail.com Joke submissions:jokes@jokeemail.com Everything else:webmaster@jokeemail.com ___________________________________________________________ ==================================================== This ezine is registered with the British Library as: ISSN 1471-020X © Copyright 1998-2004 Thomas Evans. All Rights Reserved. |
