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| Welcome to JokeEmail.com's Joke Email ! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Wednesday 25th July, 200157,000 subscribers Why did the chicken cross the road? TO GET HIS FREE CELLPHONE!!! Cross that road yourself and grab your own! Click the link below for more information & to sign up! http://by.advertising.com/1/c/58526/25685/79362/79362 AOL users click here ___________________________________________________________ Joke Email is distributed by subscription only. You are receiving Joke Email because you subscribed either at the JokeEmail.com site, or through a SuperTAF Tell a Friend form. If you have subscribed in error, unsubscribe instructions are located the end of this Ezine. + The Starter ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Hey Folks! Here's today's fix of jokes and funny pictures! Gotta warn you though - the sperm bank one is pretty tasteless ;-) ADULT: http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/spermbank.htm CLEAN: http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/savewhale.htm Keep laughing ;-) Tom Evans Editor - Joke Email webmaster@jokeemail.com + TOTALLY new Cartoons... ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ ADULT: http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/spermbank.htm AOL CLEAN: http://www.jokeemail.com/pictures/savewhale.htm AOL + Dot Com Joke ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Corporate Travel Policy Due to the current financial situation among Dot Com companies, changes will be made to the Business Travel Standards and Procedures Manual. Effective Monday the following revised procedures apply: Lodging ---------- All employees are encouraged to stay with relatives and friends while on business travel. If weather permits, public areas such as parks should be used as temporary lodging sites. Bus terminals, train stations, and office lobbies may provide shelter in periods of inclement weather. Transportation ---------------- Hitch-hiking is the preferred mode of travel in lieu of commercial transport. Luminescent safety vests will be issued to all employees prior to their departure on business trips. Bus transportation will be used only when work schedules require such travel. Airline tickets will be authorised in extreme circumstances and the lowest fares will be used. For example, if a meeting is scheduled in Seattle, but the lower fare can be obtained by travelling to Detroit, then travel to Detroit will be substituted for travel to Seattle. Meals ------- Expenditures for meals will be limited to an absolute minimum. It should be noted that certain grocery and speciality chains, such as Hickory Farms, General Nutrition centres, Costco, and Sam's Club often provide free samples of promotional items. Entire meals can be obtained in this manner. Travellers should also be familiar with indigenous roots, berries, and other protein sources available at their destinations. If restaurants must be utilised, travellers should use "all you can eat" salad bars. This is especially effective for employees travelling together as one plate can be used to feed the entire group. Miscellaneous --------------- All employees are encouraged to devise innovative techniques in effort to save company dollars. One enterprising individual has already suggested that money could be raised during airport layover periods, which could be used to defray travel expenses. In support of this idea, red caps will be issued to all employees prior to their departure so that they may earn tips by helping others with their luggage. Small plastic roses and ball point pens will also be available to employees so that sales may be made as time permits. We welcome any suggestions for further cost cutting. + Be a Babe MAGNET! ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Having trouble attracting that special someone? Pheromones are the natural way to grab that attention you crave! CLICK HERE to learn more! http://www.qksrv.net/click-3277-171865 AOL Link + Tasteless Joke ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ A boy in the sixth grade comes home after school one day. His mother notices that he's got a big smile on his face. She asks, "Did anything special happen at school today?" "Yes, Mom. I had sex with my English teacher!" The mother is stunned. "You're going to talk about this with your father when he gets home." Well, when dad comes home and hears the news he is pleased as punch. Beaming with pride, he walks over to his son and says, "Son, I hear you had sex with your English teacher." "That's right, Dad." "Well, you became a man today - this is cause for celebration. Let's head out for some ice cream, and then I'll buy that new bike you've been asking for." "That sounds great, Dad, but I can I have a football instead? My ass is killing me." +=- Contact Information ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ To unsubscribe:jokeemail@remove.postmastergeneral.com Advertising inquiries:advertinfo@jokeemail.com Joke submissions:jokes@jokeemail.com Everything else:webmaster@jokeemail.com ___________________________________________________________ ==================================================== This ezine is registered with the British Library as: ISSN 1471-020X © Copyright 1998-2004 Thomas Evans. All Rights Reserved. |
